Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A friendly compass

I'm completely lost, on the verge of some incident, and then the phone rings and I'm meeting my mate for lunch, she's been away for a week or two and like some superhero has flown in just in the nick of time.

It's great to meet someone when you're on the edge, I find. At best they can point you in some direction and at worst you can off-load some of your angst on them, unintentionally of course.

Besides, often times I'm the ear that listens, and so today was my payback.

She was so happy, just back from her holiday, and I felt so guilty that I tried not to off-load. After about four minutes I exploded into a pile of confusion. Smiling, in a calm way, she mopped up my messy life into a few manageable pieces of advice, which I'll impart here:

1. It's ok to be the wrong one (this is in relation to an admission that work isn't ticketyboo, and this may be, partly, due to ahem, my attitude)

2. It's good to have a wide range of objectives (this is in relation to a babbling brook of future careers I may wish to pursue like now - ranging from café opener / entrepreneur through psychoanalyst through global explorer)

3. You're not experiencing an existential crisis, it's just your life (this nugget I admit I don't fully understand, but it made me smile so I felt it was useful. The fact that I'm reading Camus' The Fall and that I'm really on a ledge I may not have communicated fully. Plus, and I'm probably being 1 above, but I'm not sure she knew what I meant).

And all the while she smiled, smiled and smiled. I feel much better now, even though I'm still utterly lost.

The only fear I have, apart from all the morbid fears I'm experiencing is that up until about a week ago, when I had a friendly chat with another mate who is going through something, I was feeling fine.

I just hope this precipice stuff isn't contagious, and that I've passed it on to my compass.

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