Tuesday, July 04, 2006

green giant

Though the green giant is dead, and it would inconvenience him greatly not to be, I wish he wasn't, as he may be the only one who can save me from the invasion of the tomato plants.

From one little pouch of seeds bought for a squid down in Woodies has grown in the region of twenty gazillion green plants of varying lankiness.

At the start, I had humble notions.

I was pissed off a few months ago, felt a bit useless, and bored, possibly missed my cat Arthur who was run down by a rabied skanger last year, so I went on a ramble and bought some seeds. And then some tomato food. And a few bamboo sticks, twine, pots, compost, all the necessities.

As I rambled home, my ideas grew and I began to imagine that I may set up an organic tomato farm from my ex-council home, heck who wants' tomatoes nowadays, maybe it could be an italian tomato sauce factory, if I could get some basil from Tesco to take on my window-sill and a few empty jars. The label artwork was all worked out.

Memories of my Rocket growing adventure from two years ago resurfaced, but this time it would be different, I was more responsible. Anyway the rocket was lovely if a little ungainly and wild.

Into a pot full of compost I popped all the seeds. It wasn't as much fun as I'd imagined, and I had a movie to watch as I recall.

They grew and grew and I watered and fed them. From time to time I got bored and abandoned them, but it was tragic, they would flail around helplessly and besides when you starve them for a while and then feed them water they zing! in a most impressive fashion.

Eventually I repotted some of them, but got bored, so they adorn various window ledges in differing experimental forms.

One of my visitors this evening commented that they look like hash plants, but as his girlfriend said, 'only if you don't know what it looks like'.

Unfortunately they just keep growing, and I couldn't be bothered repotting them, so they fall over from time to time. It's all so tedious cleaning them up. My visitor who knows what hash looks like suggested that I tie them with the twine to my curtain poles as they've outgrown the bamboos, so we stretched and yanked and they currently are marionette like in my front window.

The other day I noticed some flowers on them, yellow ones. Then in one of them I noticed the flower was falling off, and there is the teeniest tiny green sphere. Although they're monsterous and the pasta sauce making factory is unlikely, it's terribly exciting.

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