Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Spiritual Void

When I was in college Spiritualised were rather voguey, and I only mention that to seg gently into saying that I am spiritually void and it doesn't bother me. Mostly.

But sometimes, particularly those odd times, I mean really odd times, when I end up tapping into a spiritual conversation or moment with someone who is, I do feel a bit of a party pooper.

I'll entertain all sorts of ideas such as Aliens and have been known to experiment with the other side (ok, last time was when I was in school with a ouiji board, but still). And I'm not an ass*ole, I do wish happy thoughts such as that my Grandfather and my cat (both deceased within adult memory) are in a nice place, possibly together, although my Grandfather wasn't particularly interested in the cat, but who knows. I go so far as to wish my Grandfather and cat are living it up jolly old style, possibly in a Wallace and Gromit type setting.

And I do like to try things out - I'm doing yoga (interesting note I discovered from the radio today: youknow that song 'do you like Pina Colada, making love after midnight, getting caught in the rain'? - actually says, 'if you have no time for yoga, have half a brain'... considering I have a full brain I would never get caught in a pub waiting for my man having filled in a singles column, more likely you'll catch me stretching into a Mountain Pose whilst dreaming of a glass of Penfolds' Riesling).

But yesterday, after some friends had persuaded me to go with them to hug Amma (see folks, I am open minded), who did give me a lovely hug but not much else, I just felt empty as the conversation rattled from Aura reading to Angel Cards (I really dislike these in particular), and I had to go home to eat a big sandwich and crisps and watch trash TV just to stop feeling so sad.

My sadness was due to the void I felt growing between me and my friends.

Then tonight, I rang my mother and mentioned this. She suggested I pray. I said that was nice but as I don't believe in God it wasn't strictly necessary or appropriate, so then just to freak me out goodo and make me feel closer to Camus' Outsider than I have since I was sixteen, she suggested Angel Cards and she said that she has a pack.

Is this my future? Am I eventually going to have babies who I send to Educate Together schools only to have them turn around and say my mother understands them more than I ever could and then ask me to go to a witches coven with them or something?

Hi, I was just wandering the blogosphere and here I am at your blog. I enjoy the style of how this all works.

This is one to watch.


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