Monday, December 06, 2004

Job, not of the biblical variety

Hideous, cringe worthy, ghastly. My interview this afternoon. What self-harming instinct draws me to place my bruised ego and dishevelled frame in the hand of unsuspecting interviewers?

Normally I prepare, thinking about all the ways they can trip me up, and getting into that zone, where I don't think I'm hilarious and you are hilarious, and it is all just a gas. Or avoiding that inner show-(wo)man who has to improvise ways of making my here-to-fore indistinct career sound amusing, intelligent and interesting. Not today, no siree.

Instead I shone, crashed and burned. At least, I suppose, it is good that I realised after twenty minutes of garble that I don't want the job and these guys don't want me to have it. Yet, all that time spent ironing the suit, polishing the shoes, what a waste.

Went to the gym later and played at being retired. It was empty and I was terribly annoyed that I'd forgotten the swimsuit. Lots of huffing and puffing, skiing and cycling whilst watching Murder She Wrote (Jessica Fletcher's deceased husband - God rest his soul - was being falsely accused - post-humously - of MURDER).

Terribly irritated that I had to leave mid-way through, and can only assume that Jessica discovered that the MURDERER was her husband's right hand man who was making a play to be her paramour - although I did also suspect the sinister man was pretending to be the victim's daughter's companion... in fact I believe the TWIST may have been that he was the victim himself...but what about the corpse you say?

None the less, I had to leave, so I don't know. In a state of exhaustion, I went and hung around with my aunt, smoked, drank coffee and gossiped like no-one's business.

A word of advice - take tomorrow off and hang around with your auntie and Jessica Fletcher, but don't bother with the interview, unless you want the job that is.


The murderer was the uncle of the victims daughter. Who wasn't her Uncle but a deserter after some smuggled diamonds. Man I was bored this afternoon LOL!
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