Wednesday, November 24, 2004

sincerely l cohen

What is the story with senior managers? Is it only my humble experience, or does ineptitude and indecision ensure the next rung on the corporate ladder? Now, allegedly I was employed due to my qualifications and experience - I went through a competitive process that only stopped short of setting rabied dogs on my ass, and today my first half an hour was taken up with opening emails from my boss with the attached msg:

Pl print for me.

Hump off and print it yourself you incompetant idiot. Sadly no, like the snivelling wretch I am, I dorkily printed them off and duly dropped them on his desk. Then, and only then did he deign me ready to be tossed two documents carefully marked with illuminous post-its and ask me to 'photocopy that'. That being three pages on each. The exertion of emailing me, post-iting and using his cakehole to verbalise culminated in the need for an extended tea break on his part and excess energy on my part being expressed through fuming. Later, I was taken out of a meeting with our designer to be asked to try and find a slot with the head-guy next week for him. Very professional.

When I rule the world all senior management will be forced to shred all the paper they wasted over the course of their career with 'immediate effect'. When they achieve this, and only when they achieve this will they be allowed to retire. Satisfactorily for the taxpayer, a sharp decline in the cost of pensions to the economy will be evident and many forests will be saved and most entertainingly they will all die slowly and painfully and like me, bored. For yes, I will be an angry leader.

Personally, i think they should all be put in a giant arena with a couple of industrial scale shredders, and made fight to the death (via shredder). The last one standing might be let retire. Or he might be shredded.
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