Thursday, November 18, 2004


i thoroughly recommend dentistry as a pastime. it was delightful to learn that my teeth are in tip top form in spite of years of abject neglect save for the occasional flash of the minty stuff. apparently if you pay prsi, which i thought was just another form of taxation, one is entitled to get the chomps viewed and cleaned every six months. who says ireland is a rip off (okay i admit i have whined so myself from day to day)? after five months of paying a few quids a paycheck, i get payback.

the economist has said that ireland is the best country in terms of quality of life and all i've heard is people griping and moaning that it isn't. what are they on about? so, we don't have any public transport as it was all ripped out in the early days of the republic (viva la republic), it currently gets dark around 3.30pm, and there is a monsoon of rain outside. but we do have endless entertainment in the form of drinking and now i discover free (or almost) dentistry. fantastic. best country ever i reckon, we should smugly and gleefully revel in our wonderfulness, until the fickle world of the media judges us otherwise.

i have neve been to the dentist, despite a lifetime spent ingurgitating sugary sweets, and sometimes pure sugar, and a worrying addiction to the ungentle charms of Merchandise Cola. My teeth aren't so bad, though no-one will stand with in three feet of me, and sometimes, at night, i swear i can hear the bacteria taunting me. They are in league with my tapeworm, i am sure of it.

Yes indeed, Ireland eh? A soaked little lump of papist turf, pissed, miserable, and home to some of the worst excesses of the benighted 'boy-band' era. Marvellous place to live if you are quite, quite mad, or a leprechaun. A mad one.
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